| my relationship(s) |
[May. 11th, 2006|08:13 am] |
i guess the main thing that i have learned from my relationship(s) is that i can go only so far. in that i mean, i can only give so much; then the other has to give something. it can not be a one-way road.
the first one was with a guy i went to school with--my first crush. we met in kindergarden and i knew that i liked him. i knew it was more than just friends; i wanted to be around him every moment and so did he. we spend every chance together. there was no sex at that point--i mean kindergarden ( i later had my first sexual experience when i was 8 with my 1st cousin). we grew up and became best friends; but living where we did, we could not be "open" about it. we had to act the part. we would go off in the woods and show each other how we felt about each other. when we were in the 5th grade, he started "dating" a girl and that was it.
i learned from that that it is okay to fall in love, just be prepared for the consquences.
my last realtionship, was good at the beginning but then went south quick. we met when he was a junior in high school through mutal friends. we hit it off right away. the sex was good and we enjoyed each other's company. i started to see that it was on his terms. i was okay with that for a while, but it started to get old and boring. i thought that i would give him the benefit of the doubt since he was going into the military and he just needed to be "careful".
but as time went on, i started to notice that he was becoming more drawn up towards me. i had accepted the fact that he was bisexual; i had even told him that as long as he didn't bring anything home that could not go out with the morning trash, then i was okay with that ( i now realized i was lying to myself). the final straw was when i walked in to MY flat and found him fucking a chick. it hit me like a ton of bricks that i can not compete with this. i told him that it was over in a calm voice and i think it was best if we part company, because our lives are going in opposive directions. he put up a verbal fight; but, once my mind is made up that's that.
in this relationship, i learned that you have to look out for your own soul and mind and not compromise yourself for someone else. if they are not willing to met me half-way and be honest then i have no time for them.
these are my rememberances so far. if i think of anything else i will put them down. |
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| Passions |
[May. 10th, 2006|01:56 pm] |
i guess my passions are simple: i love my pottery, my painting, and my freedoms.
i don't take kindly to people telling what i can and can not do---notwithstanding the bedroom. when bush took office i wrote a letter to my constitutal rights telling them that i had enjoyed having them. i am vocal when it comes to my family and friends. you may hurt me; but don't fuck with family and friends.
i like to think that i am loyal and trustworthy. i am shy and standoffish at first but once i warm up to you i am your friend for life...now i may forget your name, but your face will be burned into my memory for life.
i will not talk about sex here...way to private for a public place like this.
my family is still alive and okay. my mother is ill and i came home to help take care of her and work on my degree. i have 2 more terms and then i'm through.
i am a humanist and i border on homophoic. i don't like anything openly gay. don't really like bars, or anything of that nature. i LOVE porn, and watching guys get it on.
i am not into touchy feeling crap in public...HATE public displays of affections.
anything else just ask me |
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| Toronto |
[May. 10th, 2006|10:44 am] |
I have met a guy that lives in Canada and he seems like a great guy. I have always thought about moving to Canada after I graduate from uni; we seem to have some of the same interest; I am just a little scared to make such a move. It is not the move that scares me nor is it is possiblity of settling down. It is the fear of the unknown; will I find work, will i like it there, will i be able to stay there--become a citizen?
These are things that go through my head then I think of moving there. If you can help me with these "issues" that would be wonderful. |
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| Today's Ramblings |
[May. 9th, 2006|09:09 am] |
I was in the shower and was talkin to myself, as i usually do, and I said to myself, "Self, do you think there is anything to this 'DaVinci Code' story that Rome is trying to hush?" And i came to the conclusion that, where there is smoke there is usually fire.
It would make perfect sense that Rome is hiding something; they have been doing it for several centuries.
But then I think, why make the big fuss over a BOOK? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. |
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